Girl Talk
by Nicole Berman
Summary: Mac and Harriet have a "girls' night". (Spoilers for “Webb of Lies”.)


Harriet knocked tentatively on the door.  
  
"Just a sec!" came in response. A few moments later, Mac answered the door wearing an apron that proclaimed "Shut Up Or I'll Spit In Your Soup".  
  
A smile spread across Harriet's features and she couldn't help but giggle aloud. "Nice," she said, pointing to the words.  
  
Mac blushed. "Oh, this. It was a gag gift from a boot camp buddy," she said, tugging it off and slinging it across her arm.  
  
Harriet smiled. "It's adorable, ma'am." She held out a small gift bag to Mac.  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you, Harriet? When we're not at work, call me Mac." She gently chided the junior officer.  
  
"Yes, ma'am!" Harriet saluted with a chuckle.   
  
Mac shook her head with a grin. "You're incorrigible," she said as she dug into the bag. "Ooooh, cocoa!" Mac's smile widened. "And what are these?" she raised an eyebrow as she pulled out the video tapes.  
  
" 'Top Gun', 'A Few Good Men' and 'Article 99'."  
  
"You're kidding?"  
  
"Of *course* I'm kidding. They're all brainless pieces of fluff with cute shirtless guys. What kind of masochist do you think I am, Mac?" Harriet was obviously loosening up.  
  
Mac chuckled. "I love it." Realizing that they were still standing in the doorway, Mac backed up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you standing out there. C'mon in."  
  
Harriet entered the apartment and took a look around. "Well, Mac, I must say - this apartment is so *you*."  
  
"So me?" Mac looked confused. "How do you mean?"  
  
Harriet walked over to the bookshelf. "Your books are organized in sections according to subject." She moved towards the stereo. "Your CDs are in alphabetical order by artist." She glanced at the walls. "And you have the lyrics to the Marine Corps hymn in a frame in your living room. Yup, just the way Bud and I pictured it."  
  
"You and *Bud* discussed my apartment?" Mac looked almost amused.  
  
"Well, we were just talking one night about what we thought everyone's apartments or houses would look like. Yours, Commander Rabb's, the Admiral's, the Gunny's..." she trailed off. "It was all in good fun."  
  
"Well, I'm glad I amuse you." Mac smiled, heading for the kitchen.  
  
"So, hey, something smells delicious!" Harriet exclaimed, trying to change the subject before she spilled something that would make the Colonel really cut into her six.  
  
"Yeah, I thought we'd try something new." Mac poked her head out of the kitchen. "Have a seat."  
  
"*This* is something new, Mac," Harriet pointed out, sliding into a dining room chair. "We've never done this before."  
  
"Then my dinner menu will fit right in." Mac appeared carrying a large steaming pot, her hands covered by two yellow ducks.  
  
"It smells divine," Harriet said, trying to sneak a peek into the pot. "What is it?"  
  
"Don't peek, I'll be right back," Mac evaded the question. She reappeared a moment later carrying a plate of french bread, cut into small chunks. "It's fondue," Mac grinned at Harriet. "Dig in."  
  
"Fondue? Wherever did you learn to make that?" Harriet prodded her, spearing a chunk of bread and dipping it into the pot of cheesy dip.  
  
Mac laughed as some of the dip dripped off her bread. She licked it off her fingers. "I have many hidden talents, my dear Harriet."  
  
"I'm beginning to realize that," Harriet smiled. This relaxed side of her co-worker was definitely a pleasant discovery.  
  
"How's my godson?" Mac asked, biting into another piece of cheese-dipped bread.  
  
"Oh, AJ's wonderful," Harriet beamed. "I told you he's starting to walk by holding onto things, didn't I?" Mac nodded, her mouth full. "Well he took his first steps the other day, without the couch's help!"  
  
Mac's insides melted. "And I missed it?  Aw.  I really don't see that boy enough." She grinned. "What do you say we all go to the zoo next weekend?"  
  
Harriet reached out and placed a hand over Mac's briefly. "That would be wonderful. Little AJ loves seeing you. And Harm, of course," she added, almost as an afterthought.  
  
"Of course. But then, who doesn't love seeing Harm?"  Teasing sarcasm dripped from Mac's voice.  
  
Harriet giggled. "The SECNAV?" she suggested helpfully. "Clayton Webb?" Harriet had heard *all* the stories of Harm's exploits from her husband. Bud had a big heart, but he had a bigger mouth.  
  
Mac laughed heartily. "Well, yes. But then, they've never seen him in his dress whites." The estrogen in the room seemed to have the same effect on Mac that alcohol once had - minus the mean streak. She was becoming *very* talkative.  
  
"Oh, I *know*!" Harriet nodded agreement, without thinking. "He's just the most adorable thing! I mean, besides Bud, of course," she winked.  
  
"Of course," Mac chuckled. "But, Harriet," she leaned over towards the Lieutenant and lowered her voice. "You've never seen him in his boxers."  
  
Harriet had just taken a bite of bread as Mac spoke. She began to choke on it, nearly turning purple. She took a sip of water and cleared her throat. "Uhm, no. No, I can honestly say that I haven't."  
  
"It's a sight to behold," Mac sighed, leaning back in her chair. "He's an Adonis. Only trouble is, he knows it."  
  
Harriet watched her dinner companion's face carefully. "You're smitten," she proclaimed, dropping her fork to the table with a gentle clang.  
  
"What?" Mac chuckled. "Absolutely not. He's just attractive. Even you said so," she pointed out.  
  
"Yes, but I'm not in love with him," Harriet said.  
  
"That's totally non sequitor, Harriet," Mac said defensively.  
  
"Admit it. You'd love for him to come in right now and sweep you off your feet, wouldn't you?" Harriet prodded.  
  
"Harriet," Mac rested her chin in her hands. "Harm and I have to work together every day. We couldn't be together. It would make it impossible to oppose each other in court!" she explained hastily. "And besides that, we're in the same chain of command, so it's against Navy and Marine regs." Mac poked at some listless bread with her fork, trying to avoid Harriet's focused gaze. "And also, you know him. He can be *so* cocky, and arrogant, and egotistical, and insensitive..." Mac trailed off.  
  
"You just gave me three good reasons he shouldn't, but nowhere in that speech did you mention *not* wanting him to do it," Harriet insisted.  
  
Mac blushed deeply. "Well, I don't."  
  
"And I don't believe you," Harriet grinned like the Cheshire cat.  
  


* * *  
  


Despite Harriet's pleas, Mac wouldn't let her near the dirty dishes. Once they were loaded into the dishwasher, Mac popped the first of the movies into the VCR and poured out the hot water for cocoa. Harriet scooped out Double Fudge Brownie ice cream into two bowls.  
  
Mac pressed 'play' on the VCR and they sat in companionable silence for a while. Finally, Harriet broke the mood. "Wow, he's cute!" she giggled, nodding at the movie's star.  
  
"Eh." Mac seemed unimpressed. "He's all right."  
  
"Mmhmm," Harriet said knowingly. "I understand."  
  
"You understand what?" Mac asked warily.  
  
"Once you've seen Harm in his boxers, everyone else pales in comparison. Good thing I married Bud before I had a chance to see the Commander in his skivvies. Poor little Bud wouldn't have stood a chance."  
  
"Harriet!" Mac's eyes opened wide in horror. "What are you..." she stopped mid-sentence as she saw the gleam in Harriet's eyes. "You're evil!" she laughed aloud. Mac grabbed a pillow off the couch and sent it hurtling quickly towards Harriet's head.  
  
Harriet deftly fended off the attack and laughed. "I'm right, I know I am!" she proclaimed.  
  
"You are not!" Mac cried, pelting her with another overstuffed pillow.  
  
"I am!" Harriet giggled, flailing a pillow back at Mac.  
  
"Are not!"  
  
"Am too!"  
  
Before long, it was a full-fledged pillow fight. Mac and Harriet were soon doubled over with laughter, both of them barely able to lift a pillow to whack the other. Finally they collapsed in girlish giggles, clutching their sides.  
  
"Oh this is too much fun, Mac," Harriet giggled, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, it really is. I'd forgotten what it was like to have a girlfriend." Mac said, carrying their empty cocoa cups to the kitchen.  
  
Harriet was on her heels with the empty ice cream bowls. "Me, too. I don't usually let myself get too close to people. Being in the Navy, you move around too much. Well, you know how it is," she shrugged.  
  
Mac nodded. "I didn't either, for different reasons. But still...." she left the thought unfinished.  
  
Harriet nodded understandingly. "That was then, this is now. Friends?" she asked, smiling.  
  
"You know it." Mac reached out and hugged the blonde to her. "Thanks, Harriet," she said quietly.  
  
"Anytime, Mac." Harriet replied. As she pulled away, she noticed the clock on the oven. "Oh, geez, I'd better get going. It's really late."  
  
Mac nodded. "Let's do this again sometime." Her tone said 'whenever' but her eyes said 'soon'.  
  
Harriet smiled broadly, squeezing Mac's hand as she reached for her coat. "You can count on it, Mac."  
  
Mac smiled back. "Good." As Harriet left the apartment, Mac hastened to add, "Oh, and do me a favor, Harriet? Don't tell anyone about what we said tonight."  
  
Harriet saluted. "Yes, ma'am."  
  
Mac chuckled. "Get outta here, you." She closed the door with a satisfied smile.  
  


* * *  
  


"Bud, I *can't* tell you," Harriet explained for what seemed like the hundredth time. "I promised the Colonel!"  
  
Bud sighed. "You talked about me, didn't you?" His round little face fell.  
  
"No, sweetie, I promise." Harriet kissed him gently. "Now come to bed already?" she pleaded.  
  


* * *  
  


"No, Harm," Mac explained for what seemed like the millionth time. "We did *not* talk about you," she lied. There was a long pause on her end. "No, you egotistical Squid! Not everything is about you. As a matter of fact, we ate junk food and watched movies with Brad Pitt in his skivvies." Another long pause. "Yes, much better than you."  
  
THE END


End file.
